You Time

Are you stressed? Do you need a time out? Have you been going out every night with your friends to try and relax but it's just not working? Well now there's a new product you can try! (Stupid infomercials....)

"The latest James Bond movie was showing on the hotel's in-house movie service. She smiled to herself as she thought about Daniel Craig in his swim trunks. Sugar, salt and a buff man - not a bad night in......She grabbed a spoon from the minibar and ripped the top off the ice cream. She needed to keep an eye on her temper around him. And she had to stop letting him get under her skin. That, or she had to somehow develop Zen-like mind-body control so she could stop herself from blushing in front of him. Large quantities of chocolate-chip ice cream went a long way to calming her. She turned on the TV and opened the corn chips. An hour into the movie, she was blinking and yawning. When the movie cut to a love scene, she decided to call it quits for the night. She liked watching James run and jump and beat people up, but she wasn't so wild about the mandatory sex scenes. She knew other people liked them, even got disappointed when they didn't get enough of them, but she so didn't get it."

Ok, so I kept going because, hello, JAMES BOND! Nonetheless, DANIEL CRAIG as JAMES BOND! I'm gonna plug this book and others like it because, as a woman, I LOVE THEM! Smut, as my high school English teacher would call it. If you've never read any books from the Blaze series by Harlequin Publishers, you're seriously missing out. And they'd be a great addition to your "you time," ladies! Men, go get a Hustler. (Just kidding....Maxim is much more tasteful anyway.)

Point is, sometimes you need "you time," no matter what your situation is. There could be nothing wrong, you're just having a lack of energy and motivation and it's infiltrating your time with your friends. It doesn't have to be a whole day, a whole night, a whole morning, or even a whole hour. You need complete commitment to having "you time." If you're not quite sure what will make you feel better, do some trial and error. For me, that means taco bell chalupas, coke or sweet tea (depending on my mood), dark chocolate Lindt lindor truffles, and Legally Blond, The Lizzie McGuire Movie, or James Bond (if not Daniel Craig then Sean Connery will do. Ghost Adventures is a good substitute, too. Nick Groff's head on Zak Bagans's hot bod? Yes, please!) Maybe you're craving a certain food or cuisine. Don't go crazy, but enjoy that cuisine. If it doesn't hit the spot, try something else next time. However, DO NOT get disappointed when you feel like you failed at "you time." It's still time to yourself, which is truly what you need.

Rules:
1. Completely commit to the amount of time you want to spend alone. Determine a time frame or a certain event.
2. TURN OFF COMMUNICATION!! Cell phones, Facebook, e-mail, pagers (if those even exist anymore, and if you have one, welcome to the 21st century!). Turn off everything. "You time" is "you time." It's not about anyone else.
3. If you're seriously stressing over something and can't stop thinking about it, have a convo with your imaginary friend or write it down. Be completely honest, tell the ENTIRE truth, and say everything you'd ever want to say. This is a way of getting it out of your system. Detox is a wonderful thing.
4. Get what you need before you start "you time." If that means corn chips and chocolate-chip ice cream, get it BEFORE you cage yourself in. It doesn't work to be disrupted and have to get comfortable all over again.
5. STAY THERE. Truly enjoy your time and truly accomplish everything you want to accomplish during "you time." (How many times have I said "you time" now?) If that means you want to paint your nails, pig out, watch a movie, clean the house, and download some new music (legally, of course ;) ), then do it ALL!
6. Make sure you truly enjoy your time. Like I said before, don't get disappointed because something doesn't hit the spot. Eventually you'll figure out exactly what that means for you, and "you time" will just be even more special. Simply focus on the fact that you've done something for yourself. Moms, you know what I'm talking about!

Exceptions. Obviously, there are exceptions to every rule, so there will be exceptions to these. Here are just a few:
1. Don't go crazy. Enjoy foods and drinks, but don't become dependent on them or overload on them. Feeling like you-know-what in the morning is never fun.
2. Don't completely shut yourself out all of the time. "You time" should be consistent, but solitary confinement is never the way to solve your problems. Unless you're a mass murderer....then we may have a problem....
3. If you have someone you are needing to hear from, keep your cell phone on, but change the settings. If you can set personal ringtones, set the default to silent and set one for the person you're needing to hear from. Silent includes texts, emails, picture messages, voicemails, etc.
4. Don't cheat. Just because someone does contact you or comes over to just chit-chat it up doesn't mean you have to stop your "you time." Unless they're in danger or complete hysterics, tell them you'll catch them later.
5. This does not apply to the ten minutes before bed time. That's a given that you'd be alone and doing what you need to do, but you have a mission then. It's not for your personal enjoyment. Seriously go back to rule #1 and commit to "you time."

All-in-all to say, if you aren't happy, try reconnecting with who you are. Go back to the old stuff you used to love or try something new. You never know what a couple hours could do to boost your mood. And by the way, I have now said "you time" 15 times. Yeah, it's that important.

XOXO,
Gayle