show AND tell

Have you ever watched "Dance Moms," "American Idol" or "Toddlers and Tiaras?" Have you ever noticed the blunt, point-blank criticism people receive? I'm not wanting to get into ethics of whether it's right or wrong to really tell the truth to young children as they grow and develop their talents. I want you to solely think about how much truth-telling you really do and how much it would help or hurt you to be told and tell the God-honest truth.

Now, no, this isn't about the ethics of truth-telling. It is, in fact, about love and relationships. We all know honesty is the key to any relationship. You can't have a happy relationship without honesty. No one is happy when they are lied to. So ladies, when you want your man to do the dishes or get you something special for your anniversary, does beating around the bush really work? Men, when you want your queen to go out with her girlfriends while you and the boys down some beer and watch some ball, what do you say?

Those are very casual situations, of course. The real problem is when there's an issue in the relationship. The most common thing I hear is this situation:

Girl meets boy. Boy likes girl. Boy asks girl out. Boy and girl fall in love. Boy or girl leaves for vacation. Boy stops calling or texting or XOXOing girl as often as he used to. Girl beats around the bush to tell him to step it up. Boy doesn't catch the drift. Girl gets upset but can't tell him again for fear he'll get annoyed at her nagging.

Right? Dumb. (No offense, ladies, and gentlemen, you're not always to blame.) I've been on both sides of the story. Recently, I was the one who stopped calling, texting and XOXOing. Granted, we weren't together at the time, but he never told me straight up "I want you to talk to me" until later. I felt bad and now I don't leave him alone.

So what do you do without being a you-know-what or a donkey? Establishing honesty from the get-go is the most important thing. If you can't be honest, you're not going to get what you want or need out of the relationship. It's plain and simple - no honesty, no happiness. Sure, I realize not all of you are just starting out in your relationship and many of you are well into your relationship. But you're still having issues that involve honesty.

Realize that the title of this blog is "show AND tell." Just telling someone the honest truth isn't going to solve everything. When you tell someone something, there's motivation, there's something to get out of it. TELL your loved one with all honesty what you need. But the second half is SHOW. You have to show your loved one that you love them. That doesn't mean diamonds, chocolates and roses every day (though that would make ANY girl's day!). It could be as simple as an "XOXO" text in the middle of the day, a sticky note on his steering wheel reminding him about dinner with your parents and then showing him how much you appreciated his cool demeanor during your father's "jokes," a "good morning" kiss, an "I love you" hug when he's cooking dinner or she stole the remote from you once again to watch "The Bachelor."

Yeah yeah yeah, lovey dovey, blah blah, grossness. You know you love it and you know your loved one loves it. So, two rules:

1. BE HONEST. ABSOLUTELY NO BEATING AROUND THE BUSH. DONT "ISH" IT!
2. Even if there's nothing to say, you can say everything through a little PDA. Don't worry, she wore bronzer so she really is blushing. Feel free to continue.

XOXO,
Gayle